first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
