It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
