talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
