But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
