Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
