didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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