Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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