Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Panties = found
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
