wake up i wanna do it froggy style
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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