Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
