your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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