Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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