i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
