I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
