He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
