Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Boobs are out for the taking
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
