Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
