You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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