someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
