i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she pinky promised me she was 18
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
