How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wish I only lived at night.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
