its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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