OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
