i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
