So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I think my fart just growled at me.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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