so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
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I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
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Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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