Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
