Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
