ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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