Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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