eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we made out on top of his cat.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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