Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
