just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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