problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
