i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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