Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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