For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize