The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
