Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
