just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
