Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
