I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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