Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
