I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
