I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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