john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
