RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
