I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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