bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
