I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
