Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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