Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
