I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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