WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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