Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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