Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I licked your asshole in confidence.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
