We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Randomize
