my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
