you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
