I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
