So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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