my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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