its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
