i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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