She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
false alarm, still single
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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