I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
