Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
