He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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